I looked up, blinking hard as the intense light glared into my eyes. Staring into her eyes, a sense of déjà vu crept into me. “Who are you?” I whispered breathlessly, wonder and astonishment slipped into my voice. Her smile, oh-so familiar, like I had seen it some place before. Lips, full and pale pink in color, turned up at the corners. Her dark brown eyes gazed into mine. If you looked closer, you would have realized the gold flakes sprinkled in them.[1] 

“Have we met?” I murmured, not wanting to break the spell that held us. Her laughter, tinkling like bells, resonated in the cool weather. Faint freckles dotted her cheeks, a blush spread across her face. She arched an eyebrow, “Don’t you remember?” I shook my head, stunned, as my eyes tried to comprehend the magnificent vision before me. Awkwardly, I stood up and dusted bits of grass and dirt from my jeans. She grinned and giggled, a dainty shoulder shrugged gracefully; the kind where Audrey Hepburn would have been proud of. Her hair was not black like I thought it was. It was a dark, yet warm brown color as the sun filtered through the thick strands. It lay untied, curled on her shoulders.[2] 

She wore a pastel yellow doll dress with tiny ginger-colored flowers dusted all over. I ran a trembling finger across her cheekbone. It felt cool under my fingertips. “I feel like I know you,” my voice barely audible. Her smile widened, eyes sparkled. Adroitly inclining her neck, she twirled and strolled elegantly away. I stared at her receding back, wanting so much to go after her, yet could not bring myself to.[3] 

*********************************************************************[4] 

I saw her again. Her soft brown hair tied up into a high ponytail, the color high in her cheeks. The beads of perspiration that dotted her brow made her glisten instead of looking filthy. She grinned at me, showing her perfect, pearly teeth. Her shirt was drenched and droplets of salty water plopped noisily onto the concrete ground. She carelessly brushed her fringe from her eyes, not realizing the numerous eyes waiting breathlessly for her next move. I fought a wave of jealousy, glaring at everyone who was staring at her. At the same time, I felt pleased, that she did not bother about them and only spoke to me. [5] 

Reaching up, she started to retie her ponytail that came loose from its band. I gawked at her, unable to believe that one could look so paradisiacal despite having run three rounds around the school. She turned and caught me ogling at her. Blushing, I looked away, only to find my gaze returning to her. She was unbelievable. I could not help but watch and study her.[6] 

“What’s your name?” I begged her, “Please,” I whispered, desperation seeping into my voice. My breath shortened as I waited in anticipation or perhaps it was due to the dreaded sense of hopelessness coursing through me.[7] 

She smiled sadly, her sorrow evident in her eyes, tearing at my heart. “You know me. You’ve just forgotten that’s all.” Her russet eyes stared intently into mine. “Please remember,” she pleaded, eyebrows drawn, face scrunched, as she turn and hurried away. Her hair danced around her pale oval face, as the gust blew about us. [8] 

“No, don’t! Come back! Please!” I screamed in anguish. “I don’t. I don’t remember at all,” I choked, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I sank on my knees, unable to stand any longer. She was so beautiful, so perfect. Every part of her was made immaculately; she was faultless, amazingly incomparable. She was also a mystery to me. I know her, yet, I do not remember her. Was this some sort of sadistic game?[9] 

*********************************************************************[10] 

I raised my head from the cool, porcelain sink and stared into her eyes once more. Warm ruby liquid spilt from the slash marks on to the ceramic tiles, causing a continuous ‘tip-tap’ sound that echoed hollowly through the quiet cell. No one was about. [11] 

Pleading weakly with my eyes, I stretched out a quivering finger to stroke her icy cheeks once more. “Please,” my mouth moved soundlessly, “I need to know.” She regarded me, pity palpable in those exquisite eyes I had long grown accustomed to. A wave of dizziness swept through me, I felt my body go limp and sank to the cold, unforgiving floor. Just before everything went black, she murmured gently, wistfulness unmistakably etched in her voice, “I am YOU.” [12] 

*********************************************************************[13] 

I felt no joy on seeing myself. There was nothing to be proud of. I was ashamed of whom I had become; someone who was what everyone else wanted me to be. It was not me. That chance meeting proved to me just how far and how much I had fallen. It made me see what I had been refusing to acknowledge all along. I was just another puppet, another person in the crowd, no one special enough to remember. I cringe, recalling all the venomous words I had said to others, my hypocritical self that disgusted me. [14] 

As I woke up from my faint, I stumbled towards the door and stepped out of my comfort zone. I gave up being perfection and instead became me. The metamorphosis started slowly and painfully. I was forced to give up my unmarred world of perfection and instead reign in my imperfections. Everyone avoided me as they watched me fall from grace from afar. They recoiled from me as they saw the ugliness within. I could not care. Slowly, I felt my clipped wings free themselves from the binding chains that have held me for so long. [15] 

Vicious rumors were spread, defiling my name, trying to bring me down. Yet as they had avoided me when I threw away what was brilliant, they were drawn to me as I glorified my inadequacies. Somehow, they knew that deep down; it was not flawlessness that we enjoyed, but rather, simplicity of accepting our blemishes and turning them into something worthy of being proud of.[16] 

*********************************************************************[17] 

I glanced up. The rushing water of the tap slowly came to a stop. The leaking tap reverberated loudly. Once again I was alone. I stared deeply into those familiar eyes that I have not seen in months. She was faultless as usual, nothing had changed. Her beautifully carved lips curved up in a knowing smirk. I gaze steadily back at her, refusing to back down, defiance reflecting brightly in my eyes. “I-” she started to speak, her voice haughty.[18] 

“No,” I cut in, firmness booming loudly in my voice. I smiled at her; this time, it was me who felt the pity. “I am ME.” [19] 

I looked at her, sympathy blatant in my plain brown eyes that sparkled with life. Shaking my head sadly, I spun on my heel, albeit awkwardly, as I walked out of the cell. I may not have the grace or the exquisiteness that she had, but I am not afraid. I am who I wished to be. Awkwardness and clumsiness may forever be my forte, but at the very least, I, and no one else, will decide who I shall be. It is a choice I made that I had never regret and never would. I am ME.[20] 


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